Monday, April 15, 2013

When Did You Love Your Baby?
The other day I was catching up with a good friend and we started a conversation about pregnancy babies blah blah blah. Seriously once you have a baby that's pretty much all you talk about. We got onto the topic of loving your baby and the connection that moms can form with their baby while they are in the womb. I decided I wanted to document a bit of my experience with that so I remember. I'm not sure if it will be the same way with all my children.
When I got pregnant I was obviously overjoyed and happy and all those positive adjectives. Let me start out by saying there was never a time that I didn't love my baby. I was so so grateful for her. I had a few conversations while I was pregnant, with people who talked about how much they already felt connected and like they had this amazing bond with their baby. I never had that. I never felt those strong ties to Vi while she was in me. I wish that is something I could have felt but I didn't. I know lots of people say they feel that huge overwhelming love once the baby is born and they hold them for the first time. Of course I loved Vi the moment I saw her and knew she was mine. I did not have those strong feelings though. I can honestly say now at almost 6 months that it took me some time to feel like I had that great connection with her. I was kind of waiting for that moment for awhile. I knew I was suppose to feel certain things but I just didn't get there right away.  I feel like I have more love for her now then I did when she was born. I am at the point  where I feel like she really is mine. I think for some time there it just didn't feel real and I didn't feel like I was actually a mom to this baby. 
I don't know if it will be that way with my other kids and I don't know if that is weird that it took me so long. I guess it was more that I needed to know her before I felt it. I admire those mom's that feel it from the moment they know there is a baby inside them. In many ways I wish I could do that. 
 So there is my rant. I don't know if others are in the same boat as me but at this stage I am more connected to Vi then ever before. She has become my buddy and my sidekick. I am so grateful I have her. I miss her when she naps and I can't kiss her enough. When I look at her I see Mike and I and it gives me such a great amount of joy. She is my sweetest little love bug



Dayna said...

She does look so much like Mike these days. A much more feminine looking Mike, of course.

I know a lot of people who "connect" later on. Does it mean you're a bad mom, love your baby less, or your child is gonna grow up to be a problematic druggy?



Everybody's experiences are gonna be a little different and while one may connect with baby in the womb, another will connect better later on, and it doesn't mean one is better than the other. Trust me, it's normal. And doesn't matter in the slightest.


Sydney said...

As I said when we talked, I felt the same way! I'm glad to know that other people had similar experiences to me. I agree with Dayna, she looks like Mike in quite a few pictures, but then up pops one that looks just like you! How does she change? She has SO many expressions. Love that doll baby!

Sam said...

I love that she is such a perfect mix of the two of you. I swear I can look at one picture and change my mind a hundred times about which one of you she looks more like. I love it!